Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Why the Silly Witch is a Perfect Match for the Obnoxious Warlock

The Silly Witch is seriously deluded if she thinks she can make an anniversary post like THAT without me hacking into her blog and offering a fair rebuttal and/or a competing "why I think you're pretty neat-o" post. The Silly Witch is #1. All others are #2 or worse. Here are the reasons why:

1. She understands the concept of a "man cave". Women view the relationship between Man and Television/Golf/Video Games/Workshop/Other Activity Not Necessarily Estrogen Approved as either a scarcely tolerated yet ever present mistress or as Vital Part of Male Psyche Which Helps Them Deal With That Whole Commitment Thing. In this respect, the Silly Witch is unique - she understand the purpose and need for a man cave so much that it was important to her in searching for a house. While my Media Mecca may pale in comparison to other landmarks (the Garage Majal jumps to mind), her willingness to create a shrine for me is not to be understated.

2. She is beautiful. Men are not above being shallow in the same way the sea is not above the clouds.

3. She is not scared of her own shadow. Back when I was applying to law school, I had several friend who were friends who were exceptional students but had spouses who were afraid to move to the Evil Outside World Where Mormons Are Served For Lunch With A Side of Fries. The Silly Witch gladly followed me to New York, Tokyo, New Jersey and now Houston, with not so much as a complaint along the way.

4. She is very spiritual and prone to inspiration. For example, on the way back from Stake Conference a couple of weeks ago, she turned to me and said, "You need a motorcycle." Now, I'm not entirely sure I got the same message, although I allow that I did fall asleep during part of the Stake President's talk, but that sounds good to me. On a completely unrelated note, I am encouraging her to attend General Conference in person. I could really use a few new firearms.

5. She's tough and never complains. Unless you don't provide bedstands for her.

8 comments:

MT Missy said...

A new motorcycle, huh? Sounds like the kind of inspiration every man would like his wife to receive! ;)

tenacious d said...

I think that the Warlock and Rowdy would get along very well. One compound word for you, Nick: supermoto. It's what all the cool kids are getting this year.

Erin said...

I like your wife, too.

Jecca Lee Ivie Johnson said...

Oh Warlock, you are so witty! The way you write reminds me of your dad! It's good to see that sense of humor passed on! I don't think you could say enough good things about that Silly Witch. She's one in a million!

Unknown said...

Yup! She is my sister and she is the coolest. It runs in the family!

eryka said...

I miss you guys. She's a keeper.

Amberly said...

have the nightstands appeared yet?

Unknown said...

So, what is the connection between firearms and attending gerneral conference in person?