Saturday, March 06, 2010

Saturday's Warlock

Officer Jones: [rings doorbell]*ding-dong*

The Warlock: [opens door-in-process of reconstruction with a screwdriver] Officer, how can I help you?

Officer Jones: Is everybody alright here? We got a phone call about a domestic disturbance at this address.

The Warlock: [kicks aside tools in the entry hall] Here? No, everybody's fine. I did have some movies up kind of loud - are you sure you have the right house?

Officer Jones: This is 1234 Random Street, right?

The Warlock: That's right.

Officer Jones: Are you the only person home sir?

The Warlock: No, my daughter and son are home. My daughter is watching TV and my son is asleep.

Officer Jones: Oh - may I speak with your daughter please? Also, sorry to ask, would you have some ID just so I can verify you are the person who lives here?

The Warlock: Sure, no problem. [calls for Pippi and gets ID]

Officer Jones: [talks to Pippi and looks at ID]

The Warlock: You know, I did have some movies on kinda loud with the windows open. Maybe somebody heard them and got concerned.

Officer Jones: Well, everything looks okay here, but I don't think that's the case. The call came in different than that. I can show if you come out to my car.

[Officer Jones, The Warlock and Pippi walk to police cruiser]

Officer Jones: See, we got a 911 call, but somebody hung up immediately, and when 911 tried to call back the line was busy. We get that a lot in domestics, where the abuser catches the victim calling and then stops it. So we go check it out. See, about 10 minutes ago we got a call from 123-456-7890. Do you recognize that number?

The Warlock: Hmmm, weird, that's our house number...OH! Oh. oh.

Officer Jones: What?

The Warlock: [blushes] Um, well, about 10 minutes ago, I was trying to call my wife on her cell phone, only usually I call her from work, yeah?

Officer Jones: Go on....

The Warlock: And at my office I have to dial a 9, and then a 1 before her cell number, so I did it without thinking at home. And then I forgot to hang up all the way before I started dialing her number again - beginning with a 1, you'll remember. And then I hung up and immediately called her correctly.

Officer Jones: [laughs] Oops!

The Warlock: Yeah, big oops. Do you want a glass of water or a slice of pizza for your trouble?

Officer Jones: No, thank you. Just nice to have a false alarm. Have a good weekend.

The Warlock: You too.

Officer Jones: [drives off]

Pippi: Dad, what was that all about?

The Warlock: [sighs, and wonders how many more times he'll have to explain the evils of the world to poor innocent Pippi]. Let's go have some pizza and I'll tell you all about it.

5 comments:

The Silly Witch said...

You forgot to mention the rakes strewn about the lawn, the skateboard on the walkway, and the door, sanded, in your words, "within an inch of its life." What a day!

Amberly said...

so hilarious! silly warlock.

tenacious d said...

Hehhehhehheh. Amusing!

Prudence said...

very funny! Same thing happened to my friend who was try to figure out the dialing off base to a cell phone! Good story, thanks for sharing!

Prairie Smoke said...

I'm so glad to know I'm not the only person who does stuff like that.