The Warlock: [opens door-in-process of reconstruction with a screwdriver] Officer, how can I help you?
Officer Jones: Is everybody alright here? We got a phone call about a domestic disturbance at this address.
The Warlock: [kicks aside tools in the entry hall] Here? No, everybody's fine. I did have some movies up kind of loud - are you sure you have the right house?
Officer Jones: This is 1234 Random Street, right?
The Warlock: That's right.
Officer Jones: Are you the only person home sir?
The Warlock: No, my daughter and son are home. My daughter is watching TV and my son is asleep.
Officer Jones: Oh - may I speak with your daughter please? Also, sorry to ask, would you have some ID just so I can verify you are the person who lives here?
The Warlock: Sure, no problem. [calls for Pippi and gets ID]
Officer Jones: [talks to Pippi and looks at ID]
The Warlock: You know, I did have some movies on kinda loud with the windows open. Maybe somebody heard them and got concerned.
Officer Jones: Well, everything looks okay here, but I don't think that's the case. The call came in different than that. I can show if you come out to my car.
[Officer Jones, The Warlock and Pippi walk to police cruiser]
Officer Jones: See, we got a 911 call, but somebody hung up immediately, and when 911 tried to call back the line was busy. We get that a lot in domestics, where the abuser catches the victim calling and then stops it. So we go check it out. See, about 10 minutes ago we got a call from 123-456-7890. Do you recognize that number?
The Warlock: Hmmm, weird, that's our house number...OH! Oh. oh.
Officer Jones: What?
The Warlock: [blushes] Um, well, about 10 minutes ago, I was trying to call my wife on her cell phone, only usually I call her from work, yeah?
Officer Jones: Go on....
The Warlock: And at my office I have to dial a 9, and then a 1 before her cell number, so I did it without thinking at home. And then I forgot to hang up all the way before I started dialing her number again - beginning with a 1, you'll remember. And then I hung up and immediately called her correctly.
Officer Jones: [laughs] Oops!
The Warlock: Yeah, big oops. Do you want a glass of water or a slice of pizza for your trouble?
Officer Jones: No, thank you. Just nice to have a false alarm. Have a good weekend.
The Warlock: You too.
Officer Jones: [drives off]
Pippi: Dad, what was that all about?
The Warlock: [sighs, and wonders how many more times he'll have to explain the evils of the world to poor innocent Pippi]. Let's go have some pizza and I'll tell you all about it.
5 comments:
You forgot to mention the rakes strewn about the lawn, the skateboard on the walkway, and the door, sanded, in your words, "within an inch of its life." What a day!
so hilarious! silly warlock.
Hehhehhehheh. Amusing!
very funny! Same thing happened to my friend who was try to figure out the dialing off base to a cell phone! Good story, thanks for sharing!
I'm so glad to know I'm not the only person who does stuff like that.
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