Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Burned (our romantic drama continues)

It's been months since my last installment...

After The Warlock and I broke up, our lives really didn't change that much, right away. We spent less time together, but that was inevitable as finals approached, anyway. I remember running into him, walking home to Deseret Towers and having him describe his girl ranking system. Ever honest, he described my fight to the top and the circumstances that knocked the girl previously holding first place from the top. I think she's a doctor now. And she liked him. Sometimes the Warlock probably wishes he would have tried a little harder.

At this time, I wavered between relief that I broke up with him (when he roller-bladed to our English final and showed up when the test was nearly over), total regret, and wanting to punch him.

We had a backpacking trip planned. We were still buddies, so I didn't even think of pulling out. The Warlock told me they always got MRE's to take backpacking, so he took me to a store he knew in Orem that sold them. I had never before eaten an MRE, but I stocked up for the trip.

I also had to get my wisdom teeth out the day after finals and the day before the trip.

The Warlock's Dad, with Lex and Ivan (two of the Warlock's bros) and G (a girl neighbor of the Warlock) picked us (me, the Warlock, and 2 buddies from our ward) up very very very early in the morning to head to Coyote Gulch. We road in style in the back of a camper-covered truck.

We had a lovely time walking through sand, mud, and water. We drank from springs. But we didn't take nearly enough pictures. The second day, withy the Warlock as our guide, we hiked, after playing in the river, all the way to where we could see the mighty Escalante. The third day we hiked out. Before doing so, we filled our canteens with fresh water from the spring. Lex ran out of water during the journey. That's kind of a problem when you're hiking all day in the heat, so the Warlock's dad instructed him to boil some of the river water. Lex was not pleased but did so obediently. After the canteens and water bottles were filled we stood up to carry on only to discover that Lex was gone--with the Warlock's dad's fresh spring water and leaving behind the nasty tasting boiled river water! I was terrified. The Warlock and his dad did not seem to worry, and reassured me that it would be awfully hard to get lost in Coyote Gulch and that we'd probably catch up to him quickly. But I was sure that I could get lost anywhere, and if I could get lost, so could a twelve year old. So I started booking it, in the hope that I'd catch up with Lex so that I wouldn't have to worry anymore. Who hiked at my pace? Well, the details are all a little fuzzy and I don't remember, but I do remember noticing the Warlock falling back, and wal king slowly with G.

Eventually, we did catch up with Lex, but my pace did not slow. I was amazed at how upsetting it was for me to see the Warlock with another girl.

On the way back the truck broke down. All of the brilliant mechanics in the car guessed that it might be the fan belt. Jokingly, the Warlock asked all the ladies if they had a pair of pantyhose. I'm not sure whether to be proud or embarrassed, but yes, I did have a pair of pantyhose. And I admitted it. And I handed them to my ex-boyfriend turned bff. Unfortunately, it was not a fan belt issue that was causing us problems, but a water pump issue, and my hosiery melted on contact.

So we were stranded. We summoned the Warlock's mom, but it took her awhile to get to us. I'm sure she was thrilled. I hung out with fourteen year-old Ivan and twelve year-old Lex while the Warlock hung out with G, cuddled warmly in a sleeping bag. When the police or park ranger or someone told us we couldn't camp where we were, we eventually made our way to the fine town of Escalante where the Warlock's dad kindly took us to a KOA so we could shower and bought us dinner.

When the Warlock's mom finally arrived it was quite late. I fell into a fitful sleep in the back of her van, burned, from my own choices. I'd set the Warlock free, and I felt burned emotionally as he moved on. And my back and shoulders were burned, I hadn't reapplied the sunscreen on the second day of our hike.

And the moral of the story is: Never ever go hiking in a swimsuit without a special someone who can apply sunscreen to your back.


tenacious d said...

Please give us the next installment soon! Even though I know how it turns out (wonderfully, and I'm sure that W really doesn't wish he had tried harder with Girl #2), I still want to know how you got there.

The getting-your-wisdom-teeth-out-the-day-before turned out to be a red herring. I thought you'd say that you had a horrible infection or pain or jaw swelling making you feel like the Elephant Man. Glad that didn't happen!

Anna said...

I love hearing this! I'm glad it all worked out in the end :)

The Warlock said...

I'd make excuses and such, but this is pretty much how it happened. Except that the cuddling with G was mostly intended to make the Witch jealous in the time-honored tradition of boys who feel very wronged by their ex-girlfriends. As you can see, it worked.

Lisa said...

I am so glad no one got lost. I am however familiar - i don't know how - with the silly witch's fast pace, and it is fast!