About 15 months ago, I had a dream that I remembered. I rarely remember my dreams, but in this dream I clearly remember teaching piano lessons to an eleven-year-old girl in my ward. The next Sunday she sat down next to me as I began to play music for the primary children, but she was quickly ushered to her seat because singing time was about ready to begin. I felt strongly that I must give this girl a chance to learn to play the piano. Little did I know the journey that I would begin.
A month or so later, I was called to be a counselor to the Young Women's presidency in my ward. As I was getting settled in, this girl turned twelve and entered the Young Women's program. I had been trying to arrange a way to teach her the piano; I offered my services (free); she had been asking her Mom, but things were not working out. When she entered Young Women's I told her I could give her a lesson before or after activities. I gave her a book to study which she promptly left in a chair. I quietly picked that book up, not really sure what steps to take. Maybe I was going about this the wrong way. Maybe I was not interpreting my dream correctly. But I already had a bond to her and loved her simply because of this dream that I had had.
This bond came in handy the first time I taught her in Young Womens. She decided to test me. I was intolerant of the distractions she was creating. She had a hard time in church and would often try to escape to Relief Society where her Mom was. I can recall only one lesson where she sat in a chair with the rest of her classmates the entire way through. I tried to be firm and kind at first, but as the year progressed, I just started to ignore her distractions while I was teaching.
Any time I've had a calling where I've planned activities and taught lessons, I have always tried to keep the needs of every girl I teach in mind. We'd select lessons for the girls often to be disappointed because they didn't come. With every lesson, I'd watch for the spark in their eyes, just waiting for something to start them on fire. But after a year of teaching and loving and being around these girls, I see clearly now that the Spirit is the one and only teacher. And adversity is often what causes people to seek the Spirit so they can learn their lessons.
So what happens when adversity strikes someone who is in your stewardship? I've seen this a lot this year. I've learned that I can't take anyone's problems for them. I cannot put them upon myself. I
can believe in them. I can pray for them. I can listen to them. And if I have the opportunity to teach them, I can do my very best to listen to the Spirit so that they can hear the Spirit tell them whatever they need to hear.
This Young Women's calling was
very difficult for me. I loved the time I spent with the girls and I rejoice in the moments spent with them, but it was pure torture on many levels as well. My husband's work schedule does not accommodate regular weekly evening activities very well. Throughout my calling I often had no idea if he would be able to make it home to care for the children. Either way I had to disrupt my children's evening routine. This was a very busy year for me. For half of it I was pregnant and for the other half I had a baby attached to me almost all the time. I find it very odd that this was the year the Lord chose me to work with the young women because I certainly was not able to give my all. So the young women did not get my all. And my children didn't quite get my all. But, together they took all.
But oh the blessings of just doing what you're called to do . . . It's a blessing to be a part of any young person's life. It's inspiring to watch their abilities increase and to watch them discover and pursue talents. I looked one of the older girls in the eyes today, and I could see clearly that she's almost all grown up. And I felt that she was going to be okay.
Oh, and the dream? What did it mean? Maybe I will teach this girl. Who knows? Obviously she wasn't ready yet, but she's only thirteen! This year I've been shown that we can only learn block by block on what we know all ready. It takes us all different amounts of time to learn different things. Now someone else is responsible for these girls. I am sad and relieved all at once. Good bye calling. May I get another chance some day...
A lot has happened since she left us. We miss having her for those special moments...
or even just the everyday moments...
but life just keeps moving on. We've had babies...
Pippi's surpassed her in age. She's lost a mouthful of teeth.
She's started school.
Our family has returned to Disneyland.
We let an animal move in with us.
We've driven across the country several times. The Warlock still is hiking in Southern Utah, watching football in the Fall, and doing the Daddy cooking show. He's even picked up running. Pippi can turn a room into disarray in 5 seconds flat in a fever of wild imagination. Grandma and Grandpa B still sail in the ocean. Grandma and Grandpa P are hiking, biking, fishing, building, and camping up a storm. We still can feel joy. We still feel pain. We're LIVING.
